When it all seems too much

It’s my daughter’s birthday this weekend and inevitably at this time of year I take a moment to reflect.

The saying goes “The only time you should look back, is to see how far you’ve come.” And so here it is…

Ten years ago I gave birth to a beautiful daughter. It should have been the happiest day of my life, but… 

I was broken. My relationship was beyond repair. I lived hundreds of miles away from my family. I was alone and I didn’t know how I was going to cope. 

I just kept breathing, kept putting one foot in front of the other and making sure that my baby was ok. 

The relationship came to a long-overdue end. I was desperate and I started counselling. 

But things got worse. I was made redundant. I didn’t know what to do. I needed a job that would allow me to be there for my girl, so I started my own business. It sounds crazy that I made that decision in the midst of a fog.

Counselling helped so much. I was brave. I let my guard down and made friends. That was ok, so I became more brave. I started building a community of friends, and business-friends around me and I felt that I wasn’t so alone anymore. 

People believed in me and I started to believe in myself. I started to get more work. I put myself out there and clients responded positively. And so it went on, getting better and better.

Life was a juggle. I worked into the small hours, often writing emails in the dark of my daughters room while she drifted off to sleep. One hand stroking her head and the other typing away! 

When I look back to see how far I’ve come I’m amazed at how tough things were. I find it hard to recognise the woman I was ten years ago. She was broken, but she was tenacious and she didn’t give up. I now know that I can overcome the darkest of times because I’ve already been there. And I’m a much tougher cookie than I ever imagined!

Despite the rough journey my girl has grown into a beautiful, caring and intelligent young lady. She is the reason I strive to be better. She’s been with me, keeping me focussed every step of the way without even knowing it. We’ve grown and taught each other so much. 

I can trust people again, but thanks to the lessons I learned don’t suffer fools. I am in a healthy, nurturing relationship and I feel happy, strong and positive.

This year has been incredibly hard for so many – in both their business and personal lives. I’ve heard lots of people’s stories of despair and not knowing what to do next or what might be around the corner.

You may be going through things right now that feel unsurmountable, but keep going! Keep breathing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You may not end up where you thought you would, but little by little things will get easier.